Vegans, Why Won’t Friends and Family Look When Strangers Might?
We all know how difficult it is to get friends or family to see graphic images or videos of animal cruelty. Often they refuse to even talk about it. When we raise these issues, we’re criticised for being fussy eaters or telling people what to do.
Why is it easier for people to view animal cruelty in something like the Cube of Truth than listen to friends and family about where their food comes from?
In conversations with friends or family, we have interpersonal dynamics whatever we talk about. It’s also within a context of shared meanings, experiences, ‘unfinished business” and conscious and unconscious buttons being pressed.
With strangers with whom we have no shared history, we don’t hear things like, “Here we go again!” when subtle cues are picked up in our facial expression. When you do this with friends or family because you’re unsure of what they said, it’s likely that they’ll unconsciously react to your subtle facial changes and say, “Here we go again!” In a fraction of a second, their attention moves to the interaction and shared history with you rather than what you’re saying. A button has been pressed and the conversation becomes emotionally charged.
Without realising, you might adjust the tone, content or urgency of your message. This triggers a further reaction in them which you pick up as feeling judgement, criticism or ridicule and the interpersonal dance continues. The person you’re speaking with shifts their attention away from the emotional content of the vegan message to the emotional energy in your interaction.
The result?
The listener shifts their attention to how they feel about you rather than how they feel in relation to the animal cruelty.
What about the Cube of Truth & Speaking to Strangers?
The Cube of Truth enables someone to consider animal cruelty without relationship dynamics getting in the way. Interpersonal dynamics are momentarily put aside as activists holding screens are totally unknown to the public who aren’t able to identify them. They could even be their mother, brother or neighbour.
As the person watches the screens, they can’t see micro facial expressions that would exist even on the face of the most non-judgmental activist. The result is that the observer experiences their own feelings in relation to the animal cruelty footage. This is something they’re often able to avoid if a conversation with someone they know becomes heated.
In this unique social exchange, the non-vegan doesn’t feel judged, the trance is momentarily broken and they are invited to consider their existing beliefs about where their food comes from. Their reactions switch from, “I have a right to choose what to eat” to “I can’t believe this is happening” and often, “What else don’t I know?” Usually, their guard is lowered and they’re more likely to seek answers. An un-masked activist in the crowd steps in to discuss the issues as if they too have been duped.
A Cube of Truth is a unique opportunity to challenge people’s experience of what they currently believe is “normal”. With people we know, we want them to connect emotionally with the consequences of their food choices but often their emotional reactions are outside of the confronting material itself. A Cube of Truth momentarily allows a person to escape the trance and more easily see the truth.
Heart-Warming Success Story
Several years ago as part of a Cube of Truth, a young man stopped to view the screen showing graphic footage. His face was contorted with pain as he digested the enormity of what goes into producing what most people eat. He said he felt powerless to stop this and asked the question all vegans love to year, “But what can I do?”
It was music to my ears as I explained that the most powerful thing he could do was to change his diet and not finance these practices. His face changed to that of relief and joy as I provided him with resources and support to make that journey. A miracle happened and this image was caught by a fellow advocate taking photos.
Remember…..
We don’t always get feedback on our advocacy and this experience continues to warm my heart and compel me to keep planting seeds.
